This blog isn't about sex. It's about great sex! I set it up because you only live twice, once in your dreams.

This blog is a portal to the wonderful world of web-based erotic writing. It also serves as a filter: finding stories for you to enjoy without worrying. Use both the reviews and the labels to help you identify stories which will suit your tastes. If the idea of ‘oral’ makes your stomach churn, click on ‘romance’ in the label cloud. Use the rating system: from 0 for nonsexual to XXX for eyebrow raising. (Just your eyebrows will do, thank you, sheesh!)

And use the biggest sexual organ in your body: that’s your brain, dumbo! Which bit of you do you think processes the little messages from your nerve endings in a kiss and releases the endorphins that make you go Whoopdidoo! As you read the reviews and choose stories, as you follow up other stories from those outside of this site: Think before you Click. Come Home quickly if you’re not sure about what you find. Some stories out there are far out on the wild side because humans are inventive beings –not always in nice ways.

Remember too that these are fantasy erotic stories and so the sex is always sizzling. In another life, just being close to someone you have always liked is usually enough. They won’t need a 10“ wonger or GG breasts to turn you on.

Take care of your sweet self and enjoy your dreams.

Friday 12 September 2014

Miss Congeniality

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Available from Hive.
OK, LOL, Miss Congeniality is not erotica but it is great fun and I need some gentle romance on here. Besides, I had some thoughts which I wish to write up and this seems like the best place. 

Miss Congeniality looks like the perfect example of a postfeminist film. Now I am supposed to be in favour of feminist erotica, not erotica which says, Whatever. Get over it you dull second wave wimmin who can't be bothered to pluck your chin hair, so you might not expect me to say: "Yes! go and watch this romcom in which a dork-y FBI agent is transformed into a lovely Beauty Queen and realises her inner Barbie." However ... 

IMHO Miss Congeniality is a postmodern, not a postfeminist, film. A piece of joyous popular culture, it's full of ironic touches. The winner of the Beauty Pageant ... uh sorry! scholarship programme, Miss Rhode Island, is a total dolly bird: 
Stan Fields – “Miss Rhode Island, please describe your idea of a perfect date."
Cheryl “Rhode Island” – “That’s a tough one. I’d have to say April 25th. Because it's not too hot, not too cold, all you need is a light jacket."
The worst crime she can think of is that she once stole some red knickers - 'Satan's panties'. Then during the final walk on, we suddenly learn that she is a science major. Her field is nuclear fission with a minor in elementary particles. LOL. 

Meanwhile, let's check Gracie Hart the FBI agent in early scenes at work. At first it seems that her abilities are compromised by her kind feminine 'heart' (ho ho). She screws up because she is a caring kinda gal and can't bear to see even a Russian criminal suffering. 

Ah but then, notice how she is really smart and always comes up with the answer. And how the guys around her think they have thought of it and ignore that she contributed. Er, guys, can I get a moment of attention here? I was saying .... LOL. 

Plus, it's not even ironic when a film manages to edutain you with a demonstration of how to defend yourself if you are attacked from behind. All together girls! SING - Solar Plexus, Instep, Nose, Groin (or groin-ish area <snerk>). 




Image from cinema.com
Image from Betcheslovethis
I like Miss Congeniality for its celebration of diverse women: kick-boxing smart-ass Gracie Hart, kooky witty Gracie Lou Freebush, black lesbian Miss New York, and my personal favourite, gorgeous ice queen Candice Bergen. That tight smile is a killer! LOL. 

In the end, the best Beauty Pageant ... uh, sorry! scholarship programme title, is not Miss United States. It is of course: Miss Congeniality, which goes to someone with a kind heart - and who wants world peace. 

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