This blog isn't about sex. It's about great sex! I set it up because you only live twice, once in your dreams.

This blog is a portal to the wonderful world of web-based erotic writing. It also serves as a filter: finding stories for you to enjoy without worrying. Use both the reviews and the labels to help you identify stories which will suit your tastes. If the idea of ‘oral’ makes your stomach churn, click on ‘romance’ in the label cloud. Use the rating system: from 0 for nonsexual to XXX for eyebrow raising. (Just your eyebrows will do, thank you, sheesh!)

And use the biggest sexual organ in your body: that’s your brain, dumbo! Which bit of you do you think processes the little messages from your nerve endings in a kiss and releases the endorphins that make you go Whoopdidoo! As you read the reviews and choose stories, as you follow up other stories from those outside of this site: Think before you Click. Come Home quickly if you’re not sure about what you find. Some stories out there are far out on the wild side because humans are inventive beings –not always in nice ways.

Remember too that these are fantasy erotic stories and so the sex is always sizzling. In another life, just being close to someone you have always liked is usually enough. They won’t need a 10“ wonger or GG breasts to turn you on.

Take care of your sweet self and enjoy your dreams.

Wednesday, 4 December 2013

Wallpaper - review

(XX)

Well ... I am going to cheat a bit here, LOL. No-o-o! not that kind of cheating. If you want marital infidelity, there are huge collections of stories online. I am going to cheat and review a story in which there is a tiny bit of very naughty sex without a condom. The sex takes place in a small reminiscent passage describing how the lady of the story got pregnant, there is lots and lots of other safe sex and the story is about having sex when pregnant, so we could let that go, no? This is an EXCELLENT account of what it's like to be pregnant, so let it be a warning to all of you to be careful unless you are really sure you want to develop a physique like a beached whale and spend years of your life wiping poo and sick up. The Specials say: Try wearing a cap, 'n I say: Make that man wear a condom and then you're safe from all sorts of other things which I will not mention cuz they are not in the least sexy although they are sexually transmitted. 

Acksherly, the story makes being pregnant sound v. sexy, which it is if you do it right, LOL.

Wallpaper was part of FAWC3 (see below), a writing competition in which the authors had to write a story about the photo pictured here. There were some inventive inspirations off of the picture and patientlee uses it cleverly in this story. 

The characterisation in Wallpaper is top dollar. The story is written from the point of view of a guy whose wife is pregnant; a lot of the guys commented on the memories the story brought back for them, while it was still an anonymous story and we weren't sure if it was written by a woman or a man. A classic bit of dialogue is when Derek is hesitant about full on penetrative sex, "I feel like I'm bopping the baby on the head." ROFLMAO! That is so typical. Dialogue like this is both realistic and funny, yes. It also helps to develop the character. Without patientlee having to spell it out to us, when we read him talking like this we get the impression that Derek is a bit of a silly joker, a caring kind of guy, not the overly confident kind - he might sometimes need encouragement. 

Now Derek is a Mama's boy, he is ruled by his mom. The mom is also an exceptionally well-drawn character in the story and the battle between her and Deanna is superbly depicted. I was lucky myself, in that my Outlaw Mom was both eager to assist and tactful about letting me decide how much she was allowed to help out. ("Allowed"! ha ha ha! come on over, take the baby, can I come and get her back in ten years time? Yes, you certainly can buy me a pushchair, get her shoes and pay for all her school uniform.) However I can readily imagine how infuriating a mom like Derek's would be. 

The wife/mother battle isn't the main driver of the story, just part of the whole. This is a story about the small intense joys of family life, and by family, that means grandparents and uncles and aunts etc, as well as mom, dad and the 2.5 kids. It's about a young couple who are hot and going at it often and in lots of fun ways and who are about to start out on the wild and wonderful adventure of parenting, during which they probably won't get to do it much as, believe me, parenting is knackering work. What finally drove me to cheat and include this story in spite of its very naughty inclusion of very naughty unprotected sex which I totally do not endorse, was - OK, the fact that it is really really well written - mainly that I couldn't resist such a good story about mundane, everyday, ordinary family life.

I just want to add, for those of you who are wondering, Yes giving birth is incredibly painful. But when you are giving birth, you seem to get into a different mind-set so it isn't like when you have an injury. I would have another baby (if I were younger and had not already chucked ten years of my career away on bringing up Piglet), but Christ, I hope I never have another injury like the time I tore my knee up - oooh, that was so horrible it was untrue.

NB I have had occasion before to review FAWC stories. Stories which are entered in the Friendly Anonymous Writing Challenge set up by Slyc Willie, aka FAWCker, are of a high standard. They are written by authors who frequent the Authors' Hangout on Literotica and who are therefore concerned with writing well, not just writing something quick and dirty. However they often have lots of unsafe sex in them so I am unable to review them as much as I would like on this blog. If you must go and check them out, enter 'FAWC' in the search engine on the Literotica website.

NB2 There is a persistent perception among the erotica writers that safe sex is any sex which does not lead to the lady growing an extra human being in her tummy. Dahlinks, that is so heterosexist it is mind-blowing! Safe sex is not just about not getting pregnant, it is about avoiding AIDS/HIV and lots of other horrid things. There are vast numbers of stories where we just have to assume the women are on the pill and that they asked their sexual partner(s) for a full history and were sure they could trust them on that. Here on this blog I'm reviewing hot stories where people use condoms in order to make sure that they and their partners are safe from all manner of unexpected consequences. Have fun; just have respect too, is what I say. 

3 comments:

  1. Thanks for all the nice things you said about my story! Although most of it was made up (including the conception in Tahiti), the pregnancy, labor and delivery details were very close to my actual first baby's birth. The difference was that I wasn't the father, standing by feeling helpless. I was the mama, pushing that baby out into the world.

    I didn't mention this in the story, but I will here. The story is based on my husband and me. We met when we were sixteen-year-old virgins. We waited well over a year before we had sex, and NEVER skipped using a condom until we were married at age 24. We were 30 when this baby was born, and she was very well planned, as was our second child.

    We were much smarter when we were younger, however. We call our third the "Bonus Baby". He is living proof that every time you have unprotected sex, you risk adding a new person to you budget (and your heart).

    Thanks, Naoko, for including my story on your blog. I guess pregnant, monogamous sex is the safest unsafe sex you can have, but it certainly doesn't protect you once that baby is born.

    Patientlee

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    1. The pleasure was mine, my dear!
      I suppose you can't get pregnant while having safe sex, LOL. My Piglet was more of a "Oh My God, is that how old I am?" baby, so sort-of planned. I had two miscarriages subsequently which resulted from careless unsafe marital activity so I too say: Keep it safe, pregnancy is unfortunately not the only thing you are best advised to plan so that your life is not too much disrupted. :heart:

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